Something is not right, I have the feelings.
It’s always hard for me to make decisions. No. I’m not talking about where to have my dinner or whether I should get up now. When I stand on the crossroad of life, suddenly all my thoughts disappear into the air. I don’t know what to do when I try to make big decisions, I’m frightened. I know even the smallest of these decisions may have a huge impact on my life.
There must be an option which is right, but who can tell me? Due to the positive feedback of life, I can’t make any small mistakes.
Say I take this class, and I find I like it. Half a year later I’ll be able to conduct some research with a professor in this area. Then I may be able to publish some paper, and get a very strong recommendation letter, thus pave the road for a fantastic graduate school…
What about I take the class that I find I don’t have interest or is not so good at? I won’t be able to reach the professor and miss my dream school.
Should I push myself as hard as I can when reciting GRE words? Will there be something very bad happen to me if I fail to recite them today for just once?
The one who make the right decisions will alwasy have a bigger advantage to others, and it’ll be harder for a loser to catch up on others. Why is life designed like this? Shouldn’t it be better that we’ll always get negative feedback when we do things? If you have advantage now, then life will be harder, if you hav done something wrong, then life will be easier for you. I mean, some positive feedback is necessary, but there shouldn’t be no negative feedback.
A good game always have positive and negative feedbacks. In OverWatch, the next checkpoint is closer to where you’re burn so you can reach the thing you’d like to protect faster if you have already lose one checkpoint. In Mario Cart, the one who is in the last have a higher chance to get booster or rocket. That’s one of the reasons why people are addicted to games.
Life is not even robust, it isn’t close-loop. There’re Lenz’s law in physics and Le Chatelier’s principle in chemeistry, where is the negative feedbakc of life?
命运本身要时也有人性的话，它也会抗议上帝竟然安排它如此作弄人吧。但这是不可能的。其实命运不过是偶然地积习了无数人的意识所产生的结果，并非一种超越的存在。 ————自由行星同盟军第十三舰司令官 杨威利